Get Updates Each Time I Post a New Blog. It’s That Simple.






A password will be e-mailed to you.

Archive for June, 2012

Flashback Friday! (Food For Thought, Part 1)

posted by BatSheva Vaknin 11:06 AM
Friday, June 8, 2012

Every Friday, I post an oldie but a goodie blog for your enjoyment. To those of you who just started reading The Grownup Girl recently, enjoy the “new” blog! To those of you who have been with me from the start, but have memories like mine, enjoy the “new” blog!

And to those who were with me from the start and who already read this blog and burned it into your memory, word for word, photogenically, I say:

What are you doing wasting your time dilly-dallying on my website? Get out there and find me a book deal!

If you hate to read, just click on the audio link, below.

BatSheva (BatSheva Vaknin) – Food For Thought Part ONE – the BLOG

There’s dieting, binge eating, picky eating, healthy eating and gorging… and now, gentle readers, I have coined a new phrase you may all feel free to use: Redemptive Eating.

I don’t mean eating to prove the worth of one’s soul, though that sounds good, too. I’m talking about eating something satisfying and delicious to REDEEM the nightmare piece of crap disguised as food that you ate prior, and now feel sick about.

Por ejemplo: last week, in a rush to “save money and eat healthy,” I sautéed some pre-packaged tuna steaks. Popped one in a Tupperware, and took it to work with me, with a red pepper. Perfect!

Except… it was disgusting.

Not bad fish or anything, thank GOD… but I over cooked it a little, and this fish already being of the non-fresh Trader Joe’s variety, was none too helped by my overcooking.

I ate almost half until finally giving up. For the next two hours, I was caught in a dilemma: do I now go out and spend money on a second lunch? I wasn’t even really hungry anymore. BUT that last food I ate, the tuna? We all know where the phrase “left a terrible taste in my mouth” comes from, right? And you, who read my last blog, you know I like happy endings, right? (If you didn’t read it, go take a sec, read it now. I’ll wait. Really, go ahead. Enjoy.)

So – I almost made the mistake of ordering an omelet, again. Had it the day prior AND the day before that. A girl can only eat so many eggs. What I really wanted to order was the Ahi tuna salad. (From Blu Jam, on Melrose, they are fantastic.) But it was so expensive! And… you know, I just ate half a tuna already!

In the end, I took a chance, and sprung for the Ahi salad.

Friends, you are reading the blog of one happy customer. Salad was divine. Tuna was perfect. The whole meal? Redemptive.

Redeemed my overcooked Trader Joe’s sorry excuse for a piece of tuna, that is.

Made me think about other times I’ve indulged in redemptive eating – like when a meal is so gross you just have to finish it with a huge latte, or thick piece of chocolate cake.

Anyone else get what I’m saying here?

c/xo,

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

This salad probably wouldn't trigger a massive chocolate attack. Probably.

Comments Off

My New Crush

posted by BatSheva Vaknin 11:06 AM
Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I have a confession to make. I’m cheating on you, Grey’s Anatomy. You too, House. Lie to Me, you left before I could say goodbye.

It’s just… House, you stretched to its breaking point my patience for falling in love with new interns only to see them kicked to the curb – and then Cutty left.  I’m not going to lie and say my personal issues with abandonment may have blocked my ability to enjoy or even watch your final season (I still don’t know who the “everybody” is who died in the finale episode entitled Everybody Dies)…

…But then again, as you yourself know all too well, everybody lies.

And Shonda, I tried to go with you to the new territory of Scandal. Sure, Grey’s Anatomy has become maddeningly incestuous, with each episode’s ‘medical mystery’ almost exclusively having to do with one of the main cast members.

I mean, come on, a PLANE CRASH? REALLY?

But Scandal was worse, with its almost-but-not-quite Aaron Sorkiian dialogue and didactic, sappy politically correct point of view that was soooooooooooo in my face with every scene that even this dedicated Ivy Leaguer-Democrat-Super Politically Correct gal just couldn’t bear to jump onboard that bandwagon.

But lest you desolate readers think these recent desertions of my small screened loyalties left me ONLY in the throws of the occasional Daily Show or Colbert Report… think again.

Because there’s a new girl in town. And her name is…

The New Girl.

Or, more accurately, Jess Day. Or, MORE accurately… Zooey Deschanel.

My new crush.

I’m not just crushing on HER, though she admittedly is flawless. I’m crushing on the whole show. I mean, come on, SCHMIDT???

SCHMIDT!!???!!!

All of you must immediately go out and buy a HULU subscription and watch all episodes of The New Girl, if for nothing else, the character of Schmidt. Who is brilliant.

PARKOUR!

By the way, if you have never seen the show, I must warn you that you won’t like the pilot much, and then you’ll be confused and maybe a little angry that the black guy in the pilot gets replaced by a similar but slightly funnier & better looking black guy from episode 2, onwards. It’ll take you about 3 episodes to get over it, and then another one or two to fall in love.

But you’ll get over it, I promise. Don’t give up on it. Her. Them.

And BTW, when you’re trying to figure out what to watch with the rest of your Hulu subscription time, might I suggest The B in Apt 23? It’s also a new gem, one of those incredibly rare shows that makes me happy and sometimes even laugh out loud.

Touch, on the other hand? I admit, I’m addicted… but it’s completely against my will.

Don’t get me started….

c/xo,

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

If I had a nickel for every freakin time Keifer says, "Hey, buddy, hey Jake? Come back here, buddy!"... Come to think of it, that would make an awesome drinking game. Anyone?

It’s in There!

posted by BatSheva Vaknin 11:07 AM
Monday, June 4, 2012

Hey readers who weren’t born in the 90’s! Yeah, you! Remember that spaghetti sauce commercial, that was like, “I can’t believe it has REAL tomatoes and peppers and blah blah blah…!” and the mom would cheerily and smugly reply,

“It’s in there!”

Okay, I’m dating myself; if you were born in the 80’s you also won’t remember that unless you have a photographic memory of your pre-verbal years.

But the POINT IS:

My leather couch.

I cleaned it for the first time since early April. Lifted up the cushions and everything.

Enough pretzels to fill a grocery store sized bag?

It’s in there!

Two of my husband’s missing yarmulkes?

It’s in there!

Enough challah crumbs to feed a bird sanctuary?

It’s in there!

Old grapes?  Old dried tuna fish? Old chips? Seaweed flakes? Cheerios? Yogurt?

Yup. It’s in there!

SIGHHHHHHH…….

Does anyone know of a good “once in a while” deep cleaning housekeeper person?

Because… my sanity?

Not sure if it’s in there.

c/xo,

 

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

Gee, ma, what's in that sauce? It's delicious! Aw, honey, isn't it just like homestyleeeeWAITAMINUTEYOUNGMAN, DON'TYOUDAREEATTHATSPAGHETTIONTHECOUCH!!!!!

Flashback Friday! (Happily Ever After)

posted by BatSheva Vaknin 11:15 AM
Friday, June 1, 2012

Every Friday, I post an oldie but a goodie blog for your enjoyment. To those of you who just started reading The Grownup Girl recently, enjoy the “new” blog! To those of you who have been with me from the start, but have memories like mine, enjoy the “new” blog!

And to those who were with me from the start and who already read this blog and burned it into your memory, word for word, photogenically, I say:

What are you doing wasting your time dilly-dallying on my website? Get out there and find me a book deal!

If you hate to read, just click on the audio link, below.

BatSheva (BatSheva Vaknin) – Happily Ever After – the BLOG

Don’t talk to me about Blue Valentine. That movie sucked. I love Michelle Williams as much as anyone, and what girl hasn’t fallen head over heels for Ryan What’s His Name, and actually, there was so much that was so cool about the movie… BUT IT SUCKED.

Did I mention I hate unhappy endings?

What in the world do I want to go and spend 80 bucks on a babysitter, then 28 dollars for two movie tickets, plus another 15 for popcorn, drinks and candy, and we’re not even factoring in parking or dinner here…

Just to end the night feeling like shit?

Thanks, but I can stay home, surf the web, look up long-lost friends and boyfriends on Facebook then stare at my bank accounts and credit card debts all night if I want that kind of a night. For FREE.

I like happy endings. A movie can take me through just about anything. Blood, gore, destruction, gut-wrenching sadness, utter stupidity… the whole nine yards. But – if I’ve got a smile on my face at the end of the damn thing? Worth every penny. AND I’ll recommend it to everyone I see.

Moviemakers, are you taking notes?

Enough, already, of these critical darlings that leave you feeling like the world is meaningless and we are all utterly alone. I’ll take a by-the-books Romantic Comedy any day.

My kingdom for a Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant reunion! P.S. Friends, there is no better movie than Two Week’s Notice.

NO THERE ISN’T.

I feel the same way about every day life, by the way. My day can start out amazing, go along pretty well, but if, at the end of the night, I have a fight with my husband or stare into the abyss of a bank account that seems to shrink by the second? SUCKY SUCKY day.

On the other hand… I can start out with two cranky kids, a short-tempered husband, continue with a rough day at work and three surprise bills… but if I watch an amazing episode of The Good Wife, write a good blog entry, and find out someone wants to produce one of my songs? BEST DAY EVER.

Most nights, if I’m ever too worried about something to be able to fall sleep, I always get up, write a bit to ‘take the sting out’, then follow it up with anywhere from one hour to three hours of comedy (TV, internet, whatever I can find). For me, getting only two or three hours of sleep can be tough, but beats finishing off my day in a heart-wrenching panic. Not that I’d ever fall asleep in that state anyway.

Feeling better already…

c/xo,

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

A love story my ass. A depressing break up story. Whoops, spoiler alert...

Comments Off
The Grown Up Girl is proudly powered by WordPress

Entries (RSS) and Comments (RSS).