[note to my readers: I have no earthly idea why this blog insisted on being double-spaced with a bi-colored font. You may not have even noticed - yet - but it's annoying the hell out of me. Suffice it to say that when I tried to fix it, it re-wrote my entire blog in italics. And by "it," yes, I mean the boogeyman who lives in my computer. Oooh, how I hate him! He may have won this round, but I'll be back. Oh yes, I'll be backkkkkkk.....)

And now, for the actual blog entry:

Betsy left her cookies here - like the title of an old 60's song (a la I love you Alice B Toklas). Has such a sweet, intimate, folksy, inside-jokey-nostalgic-yet-not-sentimental feel to it.

But this is not the title to a 60's song made popular by a Woody Allen movie. No, friends, this is my life, and currently, my obsession.

Those faithful GrownUpGirl readers among you will remember I recently made a 40 day resolution not to eat sugar or desserts? (Or drink wine or beer, but who cares about that, I'm Jewish, remember?) Well, the very first Saturday after I made that resolution I was tested mightily. Betsy came over with her homemade chocolate chip cookies, which included about four different types of chocolate chip cookies (gluten-free, dark chocolate, white chocolate, etc., etc.), and our six or so guests devoured them after lunch, while I holed up in the kitchen, doing dishes.

"What are you doing?" called my husband, no doubt worried his wife had been replaced by some clone robot who actually likes doing dishes so much she gets up and does them without asking for extra help or demanding that he do them because "he's better at it than her."

"I'm fine!" I called back, reassuringly.

"BatSheva (BatSheva Vaknin)!" He was not giving up. Where was his wife?!? "We're eating Betsy's cookies now!"

"I know!" I called back, in an I-promise-you-I-was-not-even-faking- it-happy voice, because I was still buzzing a bit from making my ambitious 40 day resolution.

"I'm distracting myself!"

It wasn't until later that night when he asked me again what was wrong with me, and I reminded him about my sugar-free month + 10 days, that Aharon finally let me off the hook.

"Ooohhhh!" He finally concluded, satisfied that I was, indeed, the woman he originally married. I could tell he was more than mildly surprised that I was sticking to my guns.

That was then... and this is...

Tonight.

I'm tired. I'm not particularly hungry, but I feel like stuffing myself with something sweet. Truth be told, I'm mad at my stomach, for pooching out when I want it to be caving in. So, my solution? Stuff it, put more inside, stuff it full but stuff it with delicious, sweet-tasting goodness, so I'm comforted and at the same time that I am punishing my bad, misbehaving stomach.

Hmmmmmm.... need therapy much?

I am going to stick to my guns. I’m writing this blog instead of eating those cookies.

But it doesn't mean it's easy.

Especially not with Betsy's homemade chocolate chip cookies staring me in the face.

Betsy left her cookies here, cookies here, cookies here, Betsy left her cookies here and I'm on a diet.

c/xo,

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)