Glue on the Walls
Cleaning one’s own home can be a slippery slope. I know it’s true that when someone else has cleaned my home in the past, I have been sensitive to areas that were neglected, especially after I asked them to be cleaned.
But when it’s all up to me?
I take the cleanliness neurosis to a whole new level. On the one hand, I am obsessed with the parts of my house that are not clean. On the other hand… I do not succeed to actually “clean” those areas I’m obsessed with. Thus the cycle perpetuates.
Por ejemplo. As I clean my bedroom floor, I notice that under the bed lives a veritable life-producing planet of dust, fuzz, hair, and God knows what else. I can’t reach it, my vacuum can’t reach it, so there it sits… producing, I can only hope, our human race’s next answer to the Penicillin resistance we hear our children are slowly developing. Because that bed is heavy and large and will be a major pain in my ass to move in order to clean what lies beneath.
Likewise, the walls. Are covered with gook. Sticky little fingers produce sticky little streaks, which later harden into indestructible little streaks, at which point I prefer the term “Venetian plaster” because they are impossible to remove so I may as well include them in the décor of my home. One can try… Mr. Clean’s “Magic Eraser” is pretty magical. In that it not only removes those hardened streaks when I use it to scrub them, but also removes the paint underneath the streaks.
Thanks a lot baldy. That box come with a paint touch-up kit too? In eggshell?
The streaks are colorful at least – brown from chocolate, red from strawberries, white from challah dough, and so on.
Which brings me to the glue… a while ago, my kids saw me taping their crayon drawings to the walls of my office, and wanted in on the action. So naturally, they glued their pictures to my walls.
The pictures are long gone, torn off and/or ripped off in a fit of covetous or jealous passion. Which leaves me only with streaks of thick yellow hairy glue to stare at as I write this blog.
At least they aren’t boogers.
Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)