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How Conveeeeenient

posted by BatSheva Vaknin @ 11:03 AM
Monday, May 14, 2012

So my husband’s eyes? Gorgeous. Deep brown, thick lashes, windows to a beautiful soul… But in the “vision” category, not quite a 10 out of 10. I think I remember a time when we first dated (10-ish years ago) when he didn’t squint as he read small text. But we all know what kind of memory I have, so I may just be making that time up altogether.

What matters is now, and now… my husband needs reading glasses.

Mind you, my husband HAS glasses. They just aren’t the right strength.  For years, he argued to me that if he would just do a half hour of eye exercises per day, his eyes would retain their prior eagle’d glory. And I get it – my wrists have never been the same since I was pregnant with my 2nd child, and to this day (6 years later), I am still absolutely convinced that somehow, someday, with the right combination of diet/meditation/doctor treatments/healings/acupuncture/medicine/exercise/denial, they will once again regain their former imperviousness to pain and downward dog.

But for now, my wrists are fragile and my husband’s eyes are not seeing 20/20.

I got so tired of seeing him squinting like crazy as he stooped to read a text or email, that I began badgering him to go to an eye doctor and get a proper prescription months ago. Finally, last month, he went! He got new glasses! He wore them! He stopped squinting!

And then he stepped on his glasses.

He had the lenses refitted to different frames… but the magic was gone, the spell broken. Those frames soon broke too, and as if no eye doctor’s visit had ever been paid, back he went to CVS Drug Store to by the over-the-counter glasses he had used for so long.

The kind that are about 2 points weaker than his actual lens prescription.

Yeah, there’s been a lot of squinting as of late.

But something else… when I brought up the issue of toothpaste stains on the sink that he hadn’t wiped away, he mentioned that he hadn’t seen them.


Ahhhhhh…. methinks me understands.

No can see… no need clean.

Pretty sneaky, sis.


Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

The drawer where hubby's glasses go to die.

One Response to “How Conveeeeenient”

  1. Plant N says:

    I still remember the day when Julie and Sonya both saw Ch trying to stretch his arms out far enough so he could read the newspaper and told us he needed glasses. We had no idea. Neither of us had ever needed glasses and we were clueless about presbyopia (“elder eyes”)(yuck).

    A few years after he succumbed, I did too. Now my glasses are part of my face… like Harry Potter’s.

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