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How do they KNOW?

posted by BatSheva Vaknin @ 10:21 AM
Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Can I ask you something?

How do those little buggers just KNOW?

Explanation: kids have an uncanny 6th sense. I’m not talking about remembering their past life, seeing and/or talking to angels, speaking in a language they’ve never been taught, or any number of the other spiritual abilities I’ve heard comes naturally to many kids.

I’m talking about the ability that comes naturally to ALLLL kids.

Knowing just when to bother Mommy.

Por ejemplo. Exactly two minutes into any phone call I make or receive while my kids are at home, one child starts to whine for me. Thirty seconds later, the wailing begins, and three minutes into the call, all three kids are sobbing and/or cage-fighting each other in a manner that not only forces me to end my call abruptly, but also no doubt causes the person I’m on the phone with to consider calling social services.

This never fails. And yet, somehow, I STILL believe “the next call will be different”.

Maybe it’s the fact that they start in two minutes into the call. If they started RIGHT as I received or made the call, I’d know what was going on. But instead, each time, with each new call, I am lulled into a false sense of security, privacy, comfort of personal space and feeling that I will be able to conduct this phone call… with my mom/friend/teacher/client/sister/father/credit card company/PRESIDENTOFTHEUNITEDSTATES,DON’TYOUGETIT,ITDOESN’TMATTERWHOIAMONWITH,THEBUGGERSDON’TLEAVEMEINPEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! –

Ahem.

As I was saying, that first minute of quiet as I conduct each phone call tricks me into thinking that THIS time, THIS phone call, I will be left alone…

In peace.

HA.

Working on my computer/checking emails is exactly the same, with the only added benefit that only I hear the screams, wails, sobs and pleading, whereas the person I am doing work for/emailing is blessedly ignorant of the ruckus my attention to them has caused.

The only interesting sidebar here is that while the kids go completely Cuckoo for CoCo Puffs when I’m involved in a creative, work or communicative endeavor (phone/email/writing), they actually leave me almost completely alone, in peace, when I’m doing dishes, laundry, or otherwise cleaning the house.

Sorry, THEIR house.

Ahhhh, now I get it.

c/xo,

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

Hey mom! No, it's cool, keep talking on the phone. I'll just wipe all this on the new curtains, k?

One Response to “How do they KNOW?”


  1. .your mama says:

    HILARIOUS

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