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Is Chocolate a Gateway Drug?

posted by Sheva @ 1:12 PM
Thursday, September 1, 2011

My co-worker & friend Joseph is an adorable little Goth kid who only wears black – black pants, black socks, black shoes, black t-shirts (with – GASP! – white or cream images), a black hat, and even black leather gloves. In the office.

Yesterday, however, he came into my office in a panic. “What am I going to do?” he lamented. “I paid $60 for this shirt!”

I looked at the t-shirt he was referring to. Nice material, gunmetal gray, a giant image of Bjork’s big white face on the front.

“Bjork?” I asked him.

“What am I supposed to wear it with?” He asked plaintively, and before I had time to suggest a nice pair of dark jeans should do the trick, he added, “It’s GRAY!”

“It’s a nice gray,” I replied. Then I looked at him. And I realized.

“You mean, you can’t wear it because it’s not black?”

Joseph nodded miserably.

“You paid $60 for this?”

“It’s from Japan. I could have probably silkscreened it myself,” he brooded.

“And made it on a black t-shirt,” I agreed, adding insult to injury.

I tried to soften the blow – I suggested he just wear the shirt anyway – it was a cool shirt, and, I mean, it’s just gray. Gray is almost black.

He wasn’t buying it. And then it dawned on me…

Back when I was allowing myself to eat chocolate, I’d have a chocolate bar during the day…  AND cookies, or cake, or whatever dessert came my way, later in the day. It was like, well, I already ate the chocolate, why stop now?

Part of the reason I’m staying off all chocolate and desserts right now (for 40 days) is to bring myself to a new state where I will be able to casually eat a bit of chocolate here, or a bite of cookie there, and not feel hell-bent on finishing off the whole giant chocolate bar or ten more cookies before I move on to my glass of milk.

Maybe my poor friend would not be able to help himself – wear some gray today, some brown tomorrow… and the next thing you know, he’ll be skipping through the office hallways wearing pink and purple paisley tops with banana yellow jeans and red patent leather shoes.

Gray could be a gateway color. And that, gentle readers, is a risk Joseph is just not willing to take.


Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

Oh no! Joseph, your eyeshadow is gray! What's next? An 80's fuchsia feather earring?

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