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Period Underwear

posted by BatSheva Vaknin @ 1:36 PM
Thursday, February 23, 2012

Wait a minute – if you are a GUY and you are still reading after the title…? I think maybe you skipped the title. Do me a favor – go back, READ THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG, then catch up with me tomorrow for this week’s flashback treat, k?

Cool.

Now that we’re alone… ladies, can we talk? About the reality that is Period Underwear? You know you know what I’m talking about. The granny ones, yeah, the ones with the holes that you bought from Target like ten years ago, because who’s going to spend money on Period Underwear?

Anyway – did any of you ever try those Pad/Underwear dealies that were on sale a few years back? I think Kotex made them. PS – they were AWESOME. Disposable Period Underwear! True, I’m sure they were God-awful for the environment and they clog up a small bathroom trashcan quick… and yeah, at work if they got really soggy it would be a major pain in the ass to bring, like, a diaper-sized underwear with you to work to change mid day.

But still. I liked ‘em.

Because I really needed them for leakage – WAIT – ARE YOU A MAN & STILL READING??? SERIOUSLY, DID YOU NOT HEAR ANYTHING I SAID EARLIER? RUN! NOW, BEFORE YOU’RE SCARRED FOREVER!!

Whew. Sorry, girls. Like I’ve said before, I’m all for equal rights for women, but until a man bleeds for one week straight, every single year of his life from age 12 on, out of his penis…?  Some things they will just NEVER understand.

Anyhoo-

Yeah, I always leak past my tampon (don’t even get me STARTED on the OB no-applicator ick factor) onto my underwear, so I always have to wear my Period Underwear AND a pad, and it’s just a lot to deal with.  And once I’ve bled onto my underwear – let’s say I’m at work – NOW what am I supposed to do? Just take them out and throw them away? And risk bleeding directly onto my jeans/legs/tights?? Or stash them in my purse, wadded up inside an entire paper towel roll’s worth of sheets, so I can TRY to wash them out at home & salvage them – but let’s be honest, ladies, does that ever even really work? Or, just keep them on and try not to think about how the dried blood is in such close proximity to your thighs and lady parts all day long?

Maybe the Kotex disposable period underwear was a waste of – um – what was that made out of anyway… plastic? Paper? You know, landfill stuff. But on the other hand, washing out bloody underwear also wastes a lot of water – another precious resource, right? A girl just can’t win in the eco-period war.

Wait! Ladies, where are YOU all going??  If you’re running to the store to snap up those nifty period underwear, they don’t make them anymore! Maybe we should start a movement! Write letters! Protest Kotex headquarters!

Hello??!!??

c/xo,

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

O, Holy Grail of Period Underwear - where art thou when one needs thee most? Sniff!

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