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Reality Me

posted by BatSheva Vaknin @ 10:42 AM
Monday, May 7, 2012

Blogging. Reality “TV” for those of us who can’t get a Kardashian deal?

I hate to think that. I prefer to think of myself as a would-be writer who uses blogging as a creative outlet.

But let’s get real.

It’s not exactly as if I’m writing tomes on Shakespeare, or even gossiping about fashion or celebrities. (Well, sometimes I am. But that’s different.)

I’m writing about ME. My life. My thoughts. And while I actually love to read other writers who write about their personal lives (engaging ones, anyway, like Sedaris, Tina Fey and Sarah Silverman, and the 30+ other authors of memoirs I’ve poured through), and I love to write about things ‘close to home’ (duh, ME), it IS a little disconcerting to realize that people I don’t know, or what’s actually even worse, people I DO know but don’t know that WELL, now know me… very well.

They know, for example, that I’m a bad cook. That I hate to clean. That I’m low on dough. That I’ve been on diets that have worked, and diets that haven’t. That I am a Jew who celebrates Christmas. That I changed my name. That I put safety pins in my bras to make them last longer. I’ve written about losing my virginity, for crying out loud!

[BTW - SO annoying that some of my old blogs have disappeared & MOST of the pictures/videos from my older blogs have disappeared. But since I'm as techno-stupid as they get when it comes to 'computers' - other than tapping on their keyboards to make pretty stories - I have little choice but to cringe and move on...]

So, anyway, occasionally, when I’m out and about and I run into someone whose name I don’t remember but whose face I’ve seen around, and that person gives me that knowing smile and eye-crinkle, I can only assume it is likely that he/she has read my blog.


Conundrum: I WANT more & more people to read my blog. I apparently suffer from a bit of a “Kim Kardashian Complex,” AKA I’m happy to put my private self in the public eye. (NO sex tapes, thank GOD – coming of age sexually during a pre-cell-phone video/YouTube age has its advantages!) And yet…

I feel pretty vulnerable when people give me that look.

Ok, readers: eyes averted, from now on!

Just kidding. Read, enjoy, look away. I’ve asked for it, and I’ve gotten it.


(couldn’t resist)


Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

Me, in front of one of those PR party-sponsorship boards, pretending to be on the red carpet. When in reality, my friend and I had snuck over after the celebrities had already entered in order to snap photos of each other.

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