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Scared at Target

posted by BatSheva Vaknin @ 11:28 AM
Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE Target. Tar-jeh. Tar-Tar. Targety-Wargety.

When I found out they are planning to put a Target just a few blocks up from me (come on, 2013, let’s GO ALREADY!), I nearly peed my pants.

They have EVERYTHING. Just bought our home phone there. Groceries, toiletries, kids stuff, clothes, shoes, housewares, toys… it’s a mommy wonderland!

And yes, I buy Up and Up EVERYTHING – from their $1.99 hand soap bottles to their $19.99 GIANT PACKS OF 83 AMAZING LEAK-PROOF DIAPERS.

You heard me.

Eat it, Toys R Us.

But no place is perrrrfect… and Target does have one major flaw.

It appears to have a vortex black hole within it.

Because everyone once in a while, I’ll be happily shopping, finding all sorts of unplanned for candy-colored goodies as I seek out my planned-for bargains, when…

I get lost.

Really lost.

The first time it happened, it took me a full FIFTEEN MINUTES to find my shopping cart which was nearly full.

FIFTEEN MINUTES!

That’s like, three hours, in Target Time.

I admit, I started to panic and felt like I wanted to cry when it happened.

It is possible I was also PMS-ing and late to pick up the kids.

But still!

The other day when I went, the black hole got me again. I was happily shopping, almost finished, ready to bring it all to the register, when lo and behold, an item fell out of my cart. When I leaned down to retrieve it, I remembered I had covered the hole in the cart with the little plastic board that flips up when there is no kid in the seat (moms know what I’m talking about, let’s not waste time and skip to the point, which is the revelation I then had:)

This was not my cart.

It was filled with my things. But it also had 2 Tides and a Downey that I had not bought. (UP and UP brand detergent does me just fine, thank you very much! Though I do stand by Downey, no me gusta Suavitel.)

Then I understood that my cart had SOME of my things in it, but not ALL of them – I must have gotten hit by the black hole mid-way through my shopping excursion, grabbed someone else’s shopping cart instead of my own, and continued on, completely unaware.

Whoops! Sorry, Tide & Downey shopper. My bad.

It didn’t take me too long to track down my original cart and combine my items (half an hour in Target Time), and the trip back to my original cart bore fruit – it brought me past the coffee filters isle, which I would have forgotten to buy otherwise.

So I guess even the Target black hole serves its purpose…

c/xo,

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

Seriously - stare at this target for one minute without blinking. Is it just me, or do you begin to fall into a Time Warp! Right??

2 Responses to “Scared at Target”


  1. Plant N says:

    Haha, this has happened to me at the supermarket a couple of times. Very embarrassing!

    I am intrigued by “peed my pants”. What happened to the “in”?

    • BatSheva Vaknin says:

      I guess ‘peed my pants’ has evolved into an acceptable colloquialism just like the coarser “Sh-t my pants” and weird novel titles like “Me Talk Pretty One Day”. :)

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