EW! You pervert! You know what you were thinking when you read the title of this blog. Well, it’s not about that.
Okay, it is SORT OF about smelling your loved one’s nether areas… but I’m talking about those times you don’t WANT to smell something – um – intimate, and yet you unfortunately find yourself doing just that.
I’m talking about laundry, of course.
Ladies, I know you feel me! At least those of you who live with or are married to a man.
Because let’s face it – 99 out of 100 men NEVER LEARNED TO THROW THEIR DIRTY CLOTHES IN THE LAUNDRY BASKET WHEN THEY ARE DONE WEARING THEM.
Oh, sure. They’ll throw SOME of their dirty clothes in there. Just enough, in fact, to lead a woman on and make her thing there is hope that he could learn, he could grow, he could change and evolve and someday learn to put ALL his clothes into the dirty hamper, ALL at one time.
Whew! Thanks, I needed that.
No, no, no, as we all know (we who have lived with a man for more than a couple months at a time), there is no way most men will every learn this. They are too busy falling asleep in front of the TV.
So instead, it is our duty, as loving wives and mothers and protectors of all things domestic, to pick up those clothes strewn on the bed and chair and floor and…
Because who wants to wash clothes that are in perfectly good condition and can be worn again?
Sorry, I may have been channeling someone’s dead Jewish grandmother there.
But Ethyl is right – I don’t want my husband to go without his favorite shorts if they aren’t really dirty. I don’t want to waste the water and the soap and the time it takes to clean something that is already clean.
So I smell.
And boy oh boy, sometimes do I get punished for that action.
I can only say that the universe does have its way of spreading around burdens so that everyone gets his or her fair share.
Because yesterday, when my husband was putting our kids to bed, and our littlest told him she had “poopy in her diaper”? Yeah, he didn’t believe her either. It was just a ploy to make him stay longer in her bedroom!
Only one way to find out.
Hee hee hee…
Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)