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Posts Tagged ‘bad mood’

Flashback Friday! (Bad Mood)

posted by BatSheva Vaknin 9:53 AM
Friday, January 18, 2013

Most Fridays, I post an oldie but a goodie blog for your enjoyment. To those of you who just started reading The Grownup Girl recently, enjoy the “new” blog! To those of you who have been with me from the start, but have memories like mine, enjoy the “new” blog!

And to those who were with me from the start and who already read this blog and burned it into your memory, word for word, photogenically, I say:

What are you doing wasting your time dilly-dallying on my website? Get out there and find me a book deal!

Lately, I’ve had the opportunity to explore an area of life that I’m sure we all experience from time to time: Going about your life while someone you love/someone you live with/someone you work with is in a Bad Mood.

You know how everything just seems a little grayer? I know I’m sensitive, but I can’t be the only one that this gets to. So, in a proactive effort to SHARE WITH OTHERS during this frustrating time, instead of wallowing in self-pity, flaming out in fury, withdrawing into total denial, or some explosive cocktail of all three, I’ve decided to make a list for all of you to peruse and use as you wish:

WHEN SOMEONE YOU ARE CLOSE TO AND/OR YOU SEE EVERYDAY IS IN A HORRIBLE MOOD AND WON’T SNAP OUT OF IT…. HERE ARE YOUR OPTIONS:

1. Fight with them. (This makes their mood worse, the kids upset, and doesn’t solve anything, but still, it’s really satisfying in the moment.)

2. Ignore them. (This is tricky: it really only works if you ignore them and successfully continue about your day feeling carefree and happy. If you “ignore them” but then go about your day distracted, upset, and obsessing over the fact that that person is in a bad mood and why don’t they just get over it, then you really aren’t ‘ignoring them’, are you?)

3. Try to talk to them. (Ouch! Just kidding – good God, don’t do that – they don’t feel like talking, can’ you tell?! Leave them alone!)

4. Ask a friend to reach out to them. (This may work but the question you need to ask yourself is, do you really want to get a 3rd party involved here?)

5. Journal about it. (This is a very good idea, in that it helps you connect with your thoughts and your soul, it helps to vent your emotions, and it helps to understand just what you are feeling.

a. Just beware of these potential pitfalls: 1.) Your laziness, since journaling is really annoying to have to sit down and do, after all, it’s not YOUR bad mood, you know? – and 2.) It’s not always convenient to journal, especially if you are busy at work, with kids, or driving. Then again, that’s what traffic lights are for, aren’t they?)

6. Pray about it. This one’s loaded, I know, especially for those of you who: A.) don’t believe in God, and/or B.) believe that IF there is a God, S/He is for sure too “busy with wars and starving children” or too “hands off” to really give a shit about your issues with someone else’s bad mood. But to you who feel this way, I counter: I know you are, but what am I?

a. Wait – no – that’s what I meant to say to this person who is driving me nuts with his pissy mood. To you, dear reader, I wanted to say: Just try it. Meditate. Scan a holy text (the Zohar is the best I know of). Go to spiritual services or talk out loud to a higher power. Sure, nothing good may come of it except a mild self-consciousness. OR, it could work, your prayers could be answered, and then you could finally just move on with your life already.

Because Bad Moods really just f*** up a person’s day, you know?

c/xo

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

PS This blog is dedicated to the love of my life who was in a terrible mood all last week but who is also the reason this blog got published tonight – I told him I didn’t have time to record ‘my new blog’ (didn’t tell him the subject) and he told me to get out of bed & just upload it anyway, without the recording – not to use that as an excuse & to lose momentum… good advice from a good man…)

 

Cute no matter what mood.

Amazing Discovery Alert! Instant Sobriety!

posted by BatSheva Vaknin 12:29 PM
Monday, March 12, 2012

Gentle readers – this is unbelievable. I’m telling you, I have discovered the answer that has plagued scientists, worried mothers and dorm monitors for decades… centuries!

How do you sober up a drunk person – instantly? Coffee? Bread or French fries, to soak up the alcohol? A shot of olive oil, pre-party? (Good God, please don’t try that last one. I already tried it for you, last Purim. It doesn’t work. Unless your goal is to get drunk and throw up at the end of the night and get teased by friends who saw it all coming.)

No, my friends, none of these techniques even begin to work, let alone instantly. But I – yes me, little ole me – have inadvertently found the holy grail of instant sobriety.

Someone you trust must tell you terrible, unexpected news that you are expected to immediately address.

Case in point: Purim this past Wednesday. For those of you who haven’t gotten on the Purim train, this is the (Jewish/Kabbalistic) holiday during which it is MANDATORY to dress up in costume, party with your friends, and drink until you are drunk. Oh yeah, and sit for an hour to listen to a Hebrew scroll, the Megilah.

So, as any good kabbalist (who isn’t pregnant, breast-feeding or on the AA train) would do, I started early. Who wants to sit through the entire Megilah stone cold sober? This year I was part of a group who had been planning and rehearsing a flash mob – a surprise group dance to “spontaneously” erupt right after the Megilah reading, so obviously I had even more incentive to make sure I was nice and saucy even before I stepped inside the building.

My husband and I went to a friend’s place and had some drinks. Me, the lightweight, had about one giant drink, and my husband had who knows how many shots because I left to reserve seats while he was still shooting them.

Throughout the Megilah I continued to swig from my girlfriend’s bottle of “water” (vodka), and by the time the flash mob dance was finished, I was already flying high – on the alcohol, the party, the atmosphere, and the dancing. Hurray for spiritually-approved drunkenness!

And then.

One of the younger teachers of the Kabbalah Centre sought me out in a panic.

Have you seen your husband? I hadn’t. Not since I left him doing vodka shots an hour or so prior.

You need to take him home. Now. I’ve seen normal at a party and this is not normal.

Shit.

You see, two years ago on Purim, my husband had gotten so falling-down wasted from vodka drinks that I had spent the entire party cleaning up his messes, apologizing for his blunders, and mostly just trying to make sure he didn’t hurt someone or himself.

Last year was much better – he was more in control, I was more out of control, and everyone had a blast. This year… ?

Turns out, he was fine. I found my husband, and yes, he was really drunk, but he could still talk to me and listen to me and he wasn’t falling down or making a scene.

And that’s how I made my brilliant discovery. Because the second after that teacher told me I needed to take my husband home – never mind that I didn’t need to take him home – he had succeeded in tapping into a deep-seated worry and fear within me. And… POOF!

Instant sobriety!

Every single eencey beencey bit of drunkenness that I had been enjoying and experiencing… gone, without a trace.

Yes, the party was pretty much ruined for me. I tried to build back up the joy and excitement by dancing. But I didn’t even attempt to drink any more alcohol – somehow I just knew that instead of helping to get me drunk, it would only succeed to get me sick while my mind stayed paranoid-ly clear.

So there it is, folks. Use it with caution, but use it when you must. You are welcome.

c/xo,
Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

I was the "Nancy" 1/2 of Sid and Nancy for Purim. This was when I was still having fun... AKA, pre-sobriety stun gun.

THAT Time of the Month

posted by Sheva 10:55 AM
Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I believe women should be granted equal rights, equal opportunities, equal pay, etc., etc. I’m all for women being allowed to fight side by side with the men in the military…

BUT

I really cannot see how a woman would be able to deal with being on the front lines or dropped from a helicopter into the jungle or whatever, and then, all of a sudden, her period comes gushing in. Ugh, can you imagine?

“Stop! Wait! Don’t fire! I need a tampon!”

What if she were all out? Periods come late, they come early, they’re always coming when they are least expected. (Especially if, like me, you never remember when the last one happened.)

I’m always all out of tampons when I get mine, and I hate it that the only kind of tampon that is ever available when I ask around in a time of need is inevitably an O.B. I mean, come on, people! Haven’t you ever heard of an applicator????

Oh – uh, sorry boys… I forgot to mention at the top that this blog is geared more toward the womenfolk.  Come back tomorrow, I’ll try to write about penises or mustaches or something. Bye!

Okay, ladies, let’s pick this back up:

You know what else I just realized recently? That my husband and I always get into a fight the day before my period comes on. But what is weird is that it’s ALWAYS his fault… so does that mean he’s on the same cycle I am?

What?

Okay, I admit, it is possible that I am not as patient or forgiving in those hours leading up to the Big Bleed. So perhaps when he says something pointed, I take it a little more personally than I would normally, and I also contribute to the fight occurring.

Perhaps.

I cried for about twenty minutes the other night – something to do with how I wasn’t invited to one party I wanted to attend, and meanwhile I accidentally arrived late to the party I was invited to attend.

Obviously, my tears had nothing to do with the fact that my period came a few hours later – and everything to do with the fact that I’m a sensitive soul.

Right?

c/xo,

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

Sure, she looks all bad-ass... but what she's really thinking is "Shit! I'm leaking and I forgot to put a pad in!"

F***ING HIGH HEELS

posted by Sheva 2:56 PM
Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I know, I know. I know I said I loved high heels. And I do – I love them. High heels are fucking sexy, I believe was the phrase I used in my Ode to high heels. I’m wearing them right now, in fact.

And yet.

There exists a parallel reality where high heels are also instruments of torture. For example, remember Roxana? That con artist bitch who worked for my husband for one year and during that time managed to steal over $70,000 and almost ruin our business? Yeah, her. She’s still torturing me. In the most recent incident, she used one of my most favorite pair of high heels to do it – my sky-high (6 inch) Stuart Weitzman snakeskin peeptoes with the wicker-like heels, that were a gift to me from my high heels mentor, Betsy Davis.

How, you are probably wondering, did Roxana the Con Artist Bitch use my shoes to torture me? Did she break into my house and beat me on the head with them? (God forbid) Did she steal them in the dead of night, my favorite shoes? Wrong again.

No, she lured me. Lured me all the way to the downtown courthouse on a Monday morning, when my husband was laid up in bed sick and I was the only one who could leave work (in my sky high Stuart Weitzmans), jet down to the courthouse (or 6 blocks away from the courthouse, to the parking lot, rather), in order to race those same six blocks UPhill to the courthouse, in order to make it there before 10am which was the deadline. You see, I was told by the DA that very morning at 9:10am that either I or my husband needed to race down before 10am if we wanted to claim a money order which Roxana had supposedly gotten for us for $30,000 (towards her restitution).

In return for such diligent behavior (ie, starting to pay us back for the money she stole from us), Roxana was bargaining with the DA, hoping for a lighter sentence (something we BTW had no say in – go, legal system!) Hey, I can use $30,000 as much as anyone. I ran down there. I didn’t stop to change my shoes. I even parked in the WRONG block downtown, and walked two blocks until I realized I was in the wrong place, then walked two blocks back to my car to drive “closer” to the courthouse.

By which I mean six blocks away. For any woman who is not a superhero, 16 blocks in sky-high heels (4 in the wrong location, 6 there & 6 back) is, in a word, torture.

Icing on the cake? As I arrived panting to the courthouse, at 10am on the dot, the DA called me. “You didn’t leave yet?” she asked me. “There was a mix-up. There is no check. I got the message wrong, or they left the wrong message, I don’t know. But there is no check. They are working on getting you a check. It may happen in a month.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I wanted to but did not say.

Instead, I limped the six blocks back to my car, and swung by my house on the way back to work so I could change my shoes.

c/xo,

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

Even if Madonna herself were my heels, walking 16 blocks would still be torture.

Bad Mood

posted by Sheva 2:51 AM
Monday, July 18, 2011

Lately, I’ve had the opportunity to explore an area of life that I’m sure we all experience from time to time: Going about your life while someone you love/someone you live with/someone you work with is in a Bad Mood.

You know how everything just seems a little grayer? I know I’m sensitive, but I can’t be the only one that this gets to. So, in a proactive effort to SHARE WITH OTHERS during this frustrating time, instead of wallowing in self-pity, flaming out in fury, withdrawing into total denial, or some explosive cocktail of all three, I’ve decided to make a list for all of you to peruse and use as you wish:

WHEN SOMEONE YOU ARE CLOSE TO AND/OR YOU SEE EVERYDAY IS IN A HORRIBLE MOOD AND WON’T SNAP OUT OF IT…. HERE ARE YOUR OPTIONS:

1. Fight with them. (This makes their mood worse, the kids upset, and doesn’t solve anything, but still, it’s really satisfying in the moment.)

2. Ignore them. (This is tricky: it really only works if you ignore them and successfully continue about your day feeling carefree and happy. If you “ignore them” but then go about your day distracted, upset, and obsessing over the fact that that person is in a bad mood and why don’t they just get over it, then you really aren’t ‘ignoring them’, are you?)

3. Try to talk to them. (Ouch! Just kidding – good God, don’t do that – they don’t feel like talking, can’ you tell?! Leave them alone!)

4. Ask a friend to reach out to them. (This may work but the question you need to ask yourself is, do you really want to get a 3rd party involved here?)

5. Journal about it. (This is a very good idea, in that it helps you connect with your thoughts and your soul, it helps to vent your emotions, and it helps to understand just what you are feeling.

a. Just beware of these potential pitfalls: 1.) Your laziness, since journaling is really annoying to have to sit down and do, after all, it’s not YOUR bad mood, you know? – and 2.) It’s not always convenient to journal, especially if you are busy at work, with kids, or driving. Then again, that’s what traffic lights are for, aren’t they?)

6. Pray about it. This one’s loaded, I know, especially for those of you who: A.) don’t believe in God, and/or B.) believe that IF there is a God, S/He is for sure too “busy with wars and starving children” or too “hands off” to really give a shit about your issues with someone else’s bad mood. But to you who feel this way, I counter: I know you are, but what am I?

a. Wait – no – that’s what I meant to say to this person who is driving me nuts with his pissy mood. To you, dear reader, I wanted to say: Just try it. Meditate. Scan a holy text (the Zohar is the best I know of). Go to spiritual services or talk out loud to a higher power. Sure, nothing good may come of it except a mild self-consciousness. OR, it could work, your prayers could be answered, and then you could finally just move on with your life already.

Because Bad Moods really just f*** up a person’s day, you know?

c/xo

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

PS This blog is dedicated to the love of my life who was in a terrible mood all last week but who is also the reason this blog got published tonight – I told him I didn’t have time to record ‘my new blog’ (didn’t tell him the subject) and he told me to get out of bed & just upload it anyway, without the recording – not to use that as an excuse & to lose momentum… good advice from a good man…)



Cute no matter what mood

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