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The Beastie Boyyyyy!

posted by BatSheva Vaknin @ 2:27 PM
Monday, August 19, 2013

My theme song from last week?

No! Sleep! Till Brooklyn Maryland!

My little cutie David. So small, so sweet, so gas bubbly, so…


Not always, mind you! He takes nice long stretches of sleep – many naps are two hours long and at night they usually stretch between 3 & 4 hours long.

But traveling to visit my mother & family last week in Maryland? A bit of a different story.

Once we were there, mind you, he was fine. Sleep, wake, nurse, diaper change, “play” (10 minutes of smiling and spurts of a giggle while his grandmother cooed at him), diaper change again, rock & cuddle, sleep again.

The life of a baby.

Yes, the visit part of the trip was great.

It was the transportation part of the trip that was – how shall I put this delicately? -

A nightmare.

My friend, mother of a one year old, reassured me before I left Los Angeles – “Oh you are so smart to take him now! He’ll sleep the whole way on the plane!! How old is he – 3 months? PERFECT!

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Well, the joke is on you, my friend!

Just kidding.

The joke is definitely only on me.

Me – mother of the 3 month-old who didn’t sleep more than ten minutes of the 5 hour flight.

Excuse me. RED EYE flight.

Yes. I am still slightly traumatized.

I carried him around in my bionic arms the whole flight – excuse me, I meant my Baby Bjorn, same difference – bouncing and swaying and rocking and walking, and all I can say is thank G-d for kind stewardesses (GO VIRGIN AMERICA, GO!!) and also for my husband who was great with our other 3 kids and also for those other 3 kids who miraculously behaved wonderfully the whole time.

People kept walking by me and David on the flight and saying things like, “Oh you poor thing. I feel so sorry for you.”

They were talking to me, by the way. Not David. He was fine. I… was also fine. Just a little – not getting any sleep.

At least he didn’t scream or cry THAT much – mostly, it was just that he didn’t sleep. At all.

On the 2 hour ride to my mother’s house from the airport, he did sleep quite a bit and was generally in good spirits… And as I said, the trip itself was swell.

Not so much, however, on our ride in the taxi back to the airport, when the 2 hour ride turned into a 3 hour ride (in traffic) and David LITERALLY SCREAMED THE ENTIRE WAY.

Hey, readers with no kids – wanna try a really fun game!? Record the sound of a baby screaming at the top of his lungs for a few minutes, and then play it on repeat for THREE HOURS! It’s a blast!!

My bigger kids didn’t behave much either in the taxi, fighting and generally behaving as most cranky kids in a 3 hour ride with traffic are wont to do.

Talk about traumatized. Poor cab driver.

At least our flight back to Los Angeles (again, GO VIRGIN, GO!) had a spare seat for David where I could plop his car seat and – oh, Joy! – leave him blissfully asleep for the majority of the uneventful flight home.

Until he screamed the half hour in the cab ride home.


Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

Yes, Boys ARE Awesome! And... loud. And... awake. And... Zzzzzzzzz....

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