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What’s in a Word?

posted by Sheva @ 12:44 AM
Wednesday, May 4, 2011

If you hate to read, just click on the audio link, below.

BatSheva (BatSheva Vaknin) – What’s in a Word? – the BLOG

What’s up with the word “woman”? Why does saying “I’m a woman” feel equivalent to declaring “I’m an aging female?” I have 3 kids but I don’t feel comfortable calling myself a “woman”. Sorry to all my feminist sistahs, but it’s the same problem I have trying to talk to my daughter about her vag-you know what I mean, or my son about his penis – let’s be honest, folks, that word is easier to pronounce.

In a nutshell, the word – WOMAN – doesn’t fit. Nor do the alternatives: chick, or girl… too immature. That’s why I choose to use Grown Up Girl. Not perfect, but at least I can say it without cringing.

Same with the VAG and PENIS words – I don’t want to confuse my kids by telling them both they have “pee pees” (I tried this but one is a girl and the other a boy and then they wanted to know why the other’s looked so weird) – but any other nickname sounds entirely pornographic and/or just kind of mean.

Reminds me – when I was driving my kids carpool home last year, one of the 6 year old girls, whose mom is a doula (look it up, singletons) informed my 5 year old son, my 3 year old daughter, the other kids in the car, that she knew where babies came from.

“Yeah, duh” answered my smarty son. “From the mom’s stomach.”

“NO!” the doula child announced proudly. “From her putza!”

I didn’t know whether to choke or laugh – putza is the Hebrew slang for VAG. Brilliant!

So while my children were still shielded a little longer from the raw truth about where babies come from, (they don’t understand Hebrew slang yet), I was enlightened…

Putza! What a cool name for vag-. I’m SO all over that.

BTW in that same car ride, my Don Juan five year old announced to his two girl classmates that he will never marry anyone because he never wants to have to kiss a girl. They chided him and told him that he HAS to marry, that it’s the only way he can be happy (Go, girls! Get him trained early!) – after which he flipped on them and, without missing a beat, answered: “Fine, so which one of you wants to kiss me first?”


Cheek kisses & Hugs ,

Sheva (BatSheva Vaknin)

5 Responses to “What’s in a Word?”

  1. Michelle says:

    I’m old enough to really appreciate it when a clerk calls me “miss.” Don’t call me ma’am!

  2. Michelle says:

    Funny, today I referred to myself as an “old girl” and a “grown ass woman.” Cracked myself up.

    • Sheva says:

      See!! That’s what I’m saying!! NO decent alternatives out there. Hhhmph…. I like the Grown ass woman. LOL

  3. Michelle says:

    It’s a good one for indignant situations, like, “Who are they trying to fool? I’m a grown ass woman!” It takes some of the edge off cause you can’t help but laugh when you say it.

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